Read Angie's Thoughts

Not too long ago, a friend of mine wrote a blog about grieving the loss of her hair because she has a condition called alopecia ( http://sandrakelly.blogspot.com/2012/02/qualifying-our-problems.html ). Her blog really tugged on my heartstrings not only because I feel a great sadness and compassion for her, but also because there are times I try to minimize things I get sad about instead of just giving myself permission to grieve. (For the most part, I am talking about the issue of not having a mom and not so much the abuse I experienced as a child. For whatever reason, I don't feel much sadness over the abuse. I think that's because I have a peace about what happened and as time goes on, it affects my life less and less.) When did crying become so shameful for people? I have a friend who recently told me she hates crying in front of people and another friend who is always saying, "Get over it _______". I think we all can relate to these same thoughts. I certainly do...

I heard a pastor once describe coveting as 'wanting something God didn't intend for you to have,' and boy, does that definition pierce right through my heart. So, God didn't intend for me to grow up with a mom? God didn't intend for me to have a loving grandfather who would dote on me the way most grandpas do on their granddaughters? Or, let me spin it like this: God intended for me to have a mom who would walk out when I was three and continue to live a self-centered life even now, almost three decades later? God intended for me to have a grandfather who would take advantage of my body and treat me as a sex object? Believe me when I say I ask God these questions a lot - sometimes out of a deep sadness and sometimes out of great anger. I am so thankful I serve a God that understands where my anger comes from and still loves me in spite of it. I try to make peace with these questions and there are day I succeed. On those days it is easy to believe that for whatever...