April is probably one of my favorite months of the year. Not only is it my birthday month (and that of some of the coolest people ever!) but after a long, cold, and gray winter, green grass starts to grow and the earth just smells new, fresh, and ready to come alive. Kids at school finally get the chance to play outside without their coats and the warm sun both brings out an orneriness and an exuberance for life that is unmatched during the winter months. Evenings are perfect for sitting in the sun with a good book and a whispering breeze to help sort through the events of the day as the sun heads off to bed and the moon prepares for the night shift. There's just something about the month of April! April is also Sexual Assault Awareness Month and my social media comes alive with reminders that rapists are the sole cause of rape, that chains are broken every time a survivor tells their story, and that there is so much hope and healing available for those who have been wounded by sex...
I've had the idea of this blog ruminating in my head for quite some time now, but have been hesitant to actually write it and put it out there. Why, I'm not exactly sure. I've realized in some of my friendships, my thoughts and feelings are often invalidated, and maybe I fear that if I share, I'll be met with a bunch of, "Well..." or "But..." responses. So keeping quiet is easier. Plus, broaching the subject I'm going to attempt to explain in a way that makes sense, is super scary. But, as one who strives to be real and authentic, I just need to put all my thoughts out there. Awhile back, while looking through a mental health account I follow on Instagram, I stopped on a story that talked about Passive Suicide. I had never heard of it before but it didn't take me long to realize I've actually been dealing with this for the past several years. What is Passive Suicide? "Passive suicidal ideation is described as thoughts focused on dyin...
My pastor preached a set of messages on suffering the past few weeks and they were pretty good (and I'm not just saying that out of thankfulness that his 2 part series didn't turn into a month or more...iykyk!) One of my favorite parts about his preaching is that he backs everything up with Scripture and he preaches the tough things with incredible love and grace. This last Sunday I was sitting next to a friend who has experienced incredible suffering in her life and at one point, I saw her lean into her husband as they continued to listen to the sermon. I'd be lying if I said that didn't make my heart ache a little. Actually, a lot. I've always had moments of longing for a husband to help me shoulder the load of life but never more so than when I'm struggling with hard things from my past, I know, I know...not all marriages include a husband that is listening, supportive, and encouraging when their wives are going through something, but a lot of the marriages ...
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