Read Angie's Thoughts

It's been over a month since I admitted to myself that I was depressed and needed to deal with it. It's been a long, difficult journey already and even though I have had more good days than bad lately, I still struggle with finding meaning, purpose, and most especially understanding into this current season of my life. I think one of the most frustrating things about this has been not being able to find the words to express how I'm feeling or what is going on inside. I've talked to my doctor and close friends, trying to explain this darkness I still can't find a way out of, but my words continue to fall short of the turmoil within. This past weekend I went to Women of Faith and one of the performers was Mandisa from American Idol. I bought a couple of her CDs and on one of them was a song that immediately spoke to my heart and resonated with some of what I am going through. It's this song, called He Will Come. I think my walk with God has been affected more by t

When it comes to getting a message from God, subtlety just doesn't work with me. I need in-your-face, can't-miss-it, definitely-from-God proof that he really is speaking to my heart about something. Lately, He's been helping me face the fact that I go through many days of my life wearing a mask. An 'I'm fine! Life is great!' mask that I use to try to convince everyone around me, and even myself, that things are good and life couldn't be better. Please don't get me wrong. For the most part, my life really is great. I am content to be single, I have a job I absolutely love, and I come home each evening to the two cutest cats and one lovable dog a person could ask for. I am blessed beyond measure and really am so thankful for everything God has given me. My struggle is with being authentic and 'real' with people. Because of past hurts and betrayals, I have built walls around my heart to protect myself from further pain. I know that causes me to come