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Showing posts from April, 2009

Some Answers

"This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I am trusting Him." ~ Psalm 91:4 After a long, busy week, I believe I've found some answers and taken my first steps down this new path of my life. At the insistence of my grandma (thanks GJ!) I made an appointment with my doctor this week to rule out any biological reasons for my recent depression, and although going to the appointment was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, I am so thankful God gave me the courage and strength to walk through those doors. I am blessed to have a wonderful, caring Christian doctor. God brought her into my life 5 years ago when I had to have major surgery for endometriosis. She's very thorough and has such a positive outlook and approach to life. We talked for a long time about the things I am struggling with and I shared with her things I've never spoken out loud before. She asked a lot of questions, walked me through a l

A Strange Darkness

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings." ~ Psalm 61:1-4 Several weeks ago, I wrote about being in a slump. I hadn't been to church in over a month and in other areas of my life, just felt this 'blah' going on that I couldn't figure out. I wondered if maybe it was some sort of pre-midlife crisis or something along those lines but now, weeks later, I think it may be something more. It was just a little over a week ago that I admitted to a friend something I believed had been going on inside me for some time but was afraid to give voice to. I think I am going through, or suffering from, some sort of depression. Saying those words out loud and even admitting it to myself was incredibly scary and intimidati

My Best Friend

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There are many times in my walk with God when I honestly wonder what in the world He is up to and how He is working things out for my good. Current situations and circumstances sometimes cloud the big picture of what God is creating. But one thing I love to do is look back on other times in my life where I am now able to see the big picture, or at least a bigger part of it. One such time is the story of how I met my best friend and how God weaved circumstances and events to create a beautiful friendship that I enjoy with her today. Almost 6 years ago, I was in Honolulu getting ready to start orientation before I began 10 weeks of mission work on the Big Island of Hawaii. I had yet to meet my mission partner and all I knew about her was that her name was Amy and she had red hair. I was very apprehensive about the next 10 weeks for a few reasons: 1) I had never been away from home for that long before, and 2) I had originally been assigned to serve those 10 weeks with a friend I had m