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Answers to Hard Prayers

Well, it's finished! My manuscript, that is. Five months after God put the idea on my heart, thousands of words written and deleted later, it's done and submitted to the publisher. I didn't know if this day would ever come. It would seem that just as I thought I was finished, more thoughts would come to mind or someone would suggest another edit. More than that, however, was a huge crisis of faith I experienced in recent weeks. I had gotten my last copy back from a friend who edited it for me and all I had to do was make a few more changes and it would be done. But that copy sat on my counter for weeks and every time I sat down with my computer, I couldn't make myself open the document and start pressing keys. I was stuck and I wasn't sure why. Then out of the blue, it came to me - I was doubtful.  See, now that I've submitted it to the publishing company, they will let me know in about a week if they want to partner with me to publish and then it's up to me

100 Things For 2020

In this crazy unprecedented year full of firsts and all kinds of twist and turns, here is my list of 100 thing I am thankful for!! 1) My Jesus - the journey He has taken me on this year has been one I never would have chosen for myself, but His faithfulness and unending love has carried me through 2) Dusty Grace - my sweet pup, laying beside me as I type 3) Bruce Jenner - asleep on the couch to my left as I type 4) Lola - sleeping on the heating vent at my feet as I type 5) My dad - always willing to help me out and loves my llamas so well 6) Eowyn - my oldest llama who has an imagination like no other, always keeps me laughing, and is going to change this world in ways I can't wait to watch 7) Lizzy - the middle llama, full of drama! This girl has my heart in her chubby little fist and always keeps me on my toes. Her take on this crazy world always makes me smile 8) Nora - Little Norie Noodle, who smiles like crazy and is so over the moon with her big sisters. I can't wait to

Two Sizes Too Big

 In recent days, I have learned some hard truths about someone I considered a friend, and a good friend at that. From the time I met her, I knew this friend held things close to her heart and didn't let many people in, but I believed myself to be one of the few she truly let her guard down with. This friend was, as she always put it, Jesus with skin on in my life and even though we had only known each other a few years, I let her into some hard places in my own life and showed her some parts of me that I don't easily share with others. So to be completely blindsided by her recent choices has been incredibly confusing, leaving my heart hurting something fierce, and it has been just as painful has been to see the pain her choices have inflicted on others. As I've talked with friends she and I have in common, they all say they noticed a change in her behavior and personality the past few months and knew something was up. I had no clue. Absolutely none. Sure, she seemed a littl

A False Sense of Peace

I've been sitting with some information for the last several days, trying to make sense of it and come to a place of peace. I'm still unsettled, however, and I'm not a big fan of being unsettled. In 2002 I pressed charges against my grandfather with the intent of having him register as a sex offender.  Eleven years after telling about the abuse, I learned there had been others before me and I was horrified to think there could have been others even after I told. In rare cases, abusers only have one victim and because no one else came forward when I did, I thought my situation was one of those rare ones. When I realized I wasn't the only one he abused, I wanted to at least make sure his neighbors were aware of what he was capable of.  He was sentenced to 5 years probation and had to pay a fine along  with registering as a sex offender. I checked the registry one day not long after to see if he was on there and he wasn't. I called the attorney's office and found

A New Season

I was looking up something on my blog the other day and didn't realize I hadn't written anything since November - oofta! So I thought I would post a little update... So far I have survived this whole virus thing with my health and (most of) my sanity! Because of it, one of my babysitting jobs ended abruptly and the mama of another kept her little one home for a few weeks. Then, at the beginning of June, two of my littles spent a month with their grandparents and their mama had a beautiful baby girl! Next week I get those girls (minus the baby, for now) back full-time and I am looking forward to it! It will be nice to be back to 'normal' for a few weeks before some more big changes. With one of my jobs, the two oldest will be in school full-time and the youngest will be in preschool a couple mornings a week. His mom only works part-time so he will go to daycare when he's not in school. Another one of my mamas is going to be taking some college classes, as well as wor