Living on God's Time
Lately I've been thinking a lot about God's timing and the way it has played out in my life. One of my favorite things to do is look back on my life and see how each event happened at just the right time so that something else could happen. I love to see the handiwork of my God played out in His time.
It's harder, though, when you're in the midst of a season when God's timing seems, well, off. I'm there now and it has been so difficult. A year ago, a friend told me she was moving away and my heart was broken. This friendship was relatively new, but one of those where we just clicked and our friendship was instantly easy and comfortable. I couldn't understand why in the world God would call this friend away when I was just starting to get to know her. Add to that the interesting twist in the whole situation - this friend and her family had attended my church for two years before she popped up on my radar. Two years! Our church is not that big people! I always knew who she was and that she was involved in our church's MOPS group but it wasn't until she asked me to petsit for her 3 1/2 months before she moved that I got to know her.
One of the most heartbreaking accounts in the Bible is when Jesus goes to visit His friends Mary and Martha after their brother Lazarus has died. I can hear the desperation in Mary's voice when she asks Jesus why He didn't come while her brother was still alive. Jesus is all-knowing, not to mention the Great Physician, and Mary knew He could have come when Lazarus was still sick and healed him on the spot. Instead He waited until Lazarus was not only dead, but dead for a few days. The account goes on to tell of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. So, yes, there is definitely a happy ending in this situation. But honestly, I'm still waiting for mine concerning this friendship.
I recently got back from visiting her and it was so wonderful. Our friendship allows us to talk about anything and everything, laugh and cry together, and ask the hard questions of each other with absolutely no judgement or criticism, just love and concern. In the days after I returned home, my heart hurt so much and I questioned God over and over again, "Why?" Why didn't I know her sooner? How was that possible? I could have used a friend like her in those two years!. Why did I only get to know her at the end of her time here? I feel like Mary pleading with God as I ask these things and yet, unlike her, my answer seems slower in coming.
On the flip side, recent days have allowed to me see God's merciful timing in another area of my life. A year ago, I quit my job as Case Manager for an organization called Bridges. In the months after I left, the program went downhill and is now down to a bare skeleton crew in the Riverton office. I am so thankful God closed that door when He did. I can't imagine diving into the new (to me) world of case management only to have it all fall apart in the coming months. I now watch four little ones that I absolutely adore and I love spending my days with. My hours have been cut with one of my families this last week, but even in that, I see God's timing at work. This whole time God used me this family to bless my life, I was blessing theirs in a way I wasn't even aware of.
Yes, God's timing can be a difficult thing to understand. It can be surprising and unexpected but it can also be painful and downright heartbreaking. Through it all, my God is faithful and I wait for the day all my "Whys" are answered.
It's harder, though, when you're in the midst of a season when God's timing seems, well, off. I'm there now and it has been so difficult. A year ago, a friend told me she was moving away and my heart was broken. This friendship was relatively new, but one of those where we just clicked and our friendship was instantly easy and comfortable. I couldn't understand why in the world God would call this friend away when I was just starting to get to know her. Add to that the interesting twist in the whole situation - this friend and her family had attended my church for two years before she popped up on my radar. Two years! Our church is not that big people! I always knew who she was and that she was involved in our church's MOPS group but it wasn't until she asked me to petsit for her 3 1/2 months before she moved that I got to know her.
One of the most heartbreaking accounts in the Bible is when Jesus goes to visit His friends Mary and Martha after their brother Lazarus has died. I can hear the desperation in Mary's voice when she asks Jesus why He didn't come while her brother was still alive. Jesus is all-knowing, not to mention the Great Physician, and Mary knew He could have come when Lazarus was still sick and healed him on the spot. Instead He waited until Lazarus was not only dead, but dead for a few days. The account goes on to tell of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. So, yes, there is definitely a happy ending in this situation. But honestly, I'm still waiting for mine concerning this friendship.
I recently got back from visiting her and it was so wonderful. Our friendship allows us to talk about anything and everything, laugh and cry together, and ask the hard questions of each other with absolutely no judgement or criticism, just love and concern. In the days after I returned home, my heart hurt so much and I questioned God over and over again, "Why?" Why didn't I know her sooner? How was that possible? I could have used a friend like her in those two years!. Why did I only get to know her at the end of her time here? I feel like Mary pleading with God as I ask these things and yet, unlike her, my answer seems slower in coming.
On the flip side, recent days have allowed to me see God's merciful timing in another area of my life. A year ago, I quit my job as Case Manager for an organization called Bridges. In the months after I left, the program went downhill and is now down to a bare skeleton crew in the Riverton office. I am so thankful God closed that door when He did. I can't imagine diving into the new (to me) world of case management only to have it all fall apart in the coming months. I now watch four little ones that I absolutely adore and I love spending my days with. My hours have been cut with one of my families this last week, but even in that, I see God's timing at work. This whole time God used me this family to bless my life, I was blessing theirs in a way I wasn't even aware of.
Yes, God's timing can be a difficult thing to understand. It can be surprising and unexpected but it can also be painful and downright heartbreaking. Through it all, my God is faithful and I wait for the day all my "Whys" are answered.
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