2022 In My Rearview

 I can hardly believe we're already two weeks into 2023! I find myself asking where the time goes more often than not these days. Each day bleeds into the next and quickly turns into a week and before I know it, an entire month has gone by. I've always heard time goes faster the older a person gets and, oofta, is it true!

A year ago, I was a hot mess - literally! I was two weeks into my new 'normal' - watching littles a couple days a week and subbing the rest. The transition from full-time llama care to less than 20 hours a week was harder than I thought. I was out to lunch with my dad and he asked how it was going only seeing the girls a couple days a week. I started crying right there in the restaurant as the lunch crowd continued on around us. I missed those little girls more than I thought possible. I remember on my first day subbing, in preschool, a little girl came up and asked for my help with something and my eyes immediately filled with tears, which I had to quickly blink away. She reminded me so much of the oldest llama and my heart ached to be at my house with her instead of at school with little ones I didn't know. To say I was having a hard time adjusting was an understatement.

I had been told that there was ample opportunities to sub in the district and that a person could sub full-time if they wanted. After checking all the boxed needed to get my sub certificate, I downloaded the app and waited for the jobs to roll in. As the weeks went by and the jobs didn't come, I began to get frustrated and discouraged. I had no idea how I would pay my bills but more than that, I couldn't understand what God was up to. Subbing had seemed like the obvious answer to fill the remainder of my week not watching littles, but it wasn't quite panning out the way I had hoped or imagined.

A friend of mine got very sick at the end of 2021 and would be in and out of the hospital until well into the new year. She and her husband had a 3-year-old little boy and 5-month-old twin girls. Though she was incredible sick, her big heart noticed mine was struggling and she offered to pay me, on the days I didn't get subbing jobs, to help her extended family care for the twins and take her to various doctor's appointments. While this was a huge answer to prayer, it wasn't quite what I had planned and even though I was glad to help, I continued to be somewhat frustrated and discouraged. As the days helping my friend turned into weeks, God opened my eyes to see what a blessing those days holding, changing, feeding and loving on the girls really was. I began turning down the sub jobs that did come in so I could help this friend and I was honored to watch her strength and courage as she faced so many unanswered questions and new symptoms. She eventually went to another state to get more specialized care for a few months and my days filled back up with watching littles and subbing. I would resume helping care for the girls when she came home and throughout the summer. It may not have been the spring I was planning but God, in His great wisdom and love, knew exactly where I needed to spend those days.

The summer found me watching llamas full-time again, including a new little one! I increased my llama watching days to three this fall, subbing on Mondays and Fridays. I think I have found my niche in the subbing world - there are a couple schools I especially love working in, and it's been fun to get to know the staff and students. 

I have no idea what 2023 holds. I have my ideas, of course, and what I would like to see happen but after 23 years of following Jesus, I'm finally learning to trust that His ways are better. Here's to another trip around the sun!!