God Is On the Move

 I've considered myself very blessed when it comes to the different jobs I have had in my life. In the (almost) 20 years since I graduated college, God has given me wonderful employers that have been like family. My job at Trinity Lutheran started out as a one-year position but my time there eventually stretched out over seven years. I can't even begin to explain how much I loved that job! I remember praying at some point that whenever God deemed it time for me to move on from there, it would have to totally be His doing because I wouldn't be able to walk away from the job on my own. He was very faithful in answering that prayer as, during my seventh year there, the school went through an accreditation process that required I join the Lutheran church or find another job. Even though leaving the students and staff there that I loved so much was extremely hard, I had a peace knowing that just as God had opened the door for me to work there, He was closing it and telling me it was time to move on. 

A nanny job followed, in which I fell in love with the most precious 18-month-old (who will be 12 in a handful of weeks - WHAT?!) and when God closed the door there, I got a job as a para at an elementary school. I had an amazing year there but then God provided what I believed to be my dream job as a case manager for adults with developmental disabilities. While I did love the interaction with the clients, I was not a huge fan of amount of paperwork required and knew I needed to look for something else. In what was totally a God thing, a friend was preparing to move away and the mom of the infant she had been watching was looking for another caregiver. I called the mom and offered to watch her, all while thinking in the back of my mind that I would only do it until something better came along. A couple years later, not only was I still watching that little girl, and her new sister, but also three kiddos from another amazing family. One afternoon I got a phone call offering me what, just a couple of years earlier, would have been my dream job. With total peace in my heart, I turned it down and knew that watching kiddos was exactly where God wanted me to be for that time. In the years that followed, God brought other littles into my life to watch and I found myself absolutely in love with the daily routine of playing, making lunch, picking up toys, holding little ones, and even changing diapers! While the world tried telling me I should have been doing something more with my life, climbing some corporate ladder, I was totally content eeking by financially but completely overwhelmed with other blessings. God, and life, was good.

A big change came at the beginning of 2022, when my hours with my main family went from 50+ hours a week to less than 20. I struggled a lot emotionally as my heart had become so attached to those little girls. I subbed to supplement my income and then God provided more kiddos to watch this last summer so that I was able to, again, eek by financially. I may not have had much in the bank, or even my wallet most days, but I was blessed beyond measure to spend my days with all those littles. 

Once school started again, my schedule changed back to a mixture of subbing and watching kiddos. As I subbed more and got to know some of the kids and teachers in the public schools, I found myself thinking a lot about certain students and investing in their little lives with prayer and little waves when I would see them in the hallways. I began to sense of change in my heart and again found myself praying that when God wanted me to stop watching littles, He would open and close the doors in such a way that I would know without a doubt that it was Him.

A handful of weeks ago, I began entertaining thoughts of subbing full-time starting in the fall. The kids in my main family are getting older and as they get more into school, my hours will get even less. I wasn't sure about the summer as I would have had to take on more kids to financially survive and I didn't know if I was up for that. I also worried about my other families and different circumstances that they were facing in their lives, wondering how/where they would find care for their little ones if I stopped doing it. Then God started to move! One mom called me and told me her kiddos would be starting more hours at a daycare in the fall but in order to hold those spots, they had to start in June. She told me later it was such a hard thing to tell me but as I told her what God was doing in my heart, I knew this was God beginning to close doors. I told another mama of a little I've watched for almost a year and boy, that was tough. I have watched her infant grow and blossom into this cheeser of a little thing, with such personality and it's been so fun! One of my hesistations in telling her was knowing how hard it can be in our town to find good child care. Most daycares have long waiting lists. I told this mama the news on a Tuesday afternoon and by Thursday morning she had secured a spot in one of the best, starting in June! Telling the mama of the family I started working for over six years ago was the hardest conversation and the one I was dreading the most. The thought of not seeing her girls every week completely broke my heart. I have yet to be able to talk about it out loud without crying! She took it in stride and promised I would still see the girls often and I will hold her to that! One more mama remained but telling her was easy as I had been sharing my thoughts with her over the past several weeks and she knew it was coming. She was incredibly kind and encouraging and, like me, is excited to see what God has next.

It's been an emotional week with all these doors opening and closing, I tell ya! I have cried buckets of tears and know I will cry buckets more. Goodbyes and change have never been easy for me, I've struggled with both since childhood. These kiddos have brought me untold amounts of laughter, memories, and so many amazing blessings! It will be hard to close this chapter, but I know I will see them all often (most go to my church!) and that the relationships I've formed won't disappear just because I don't see them every day, or even every week. I'm not sure what the summer holds, I will probably get a mindless job stocking shelves somewhere, but I am excited to sub full-time in the fall! I love going into a classroom and being the fun teacher for the day and there are some amazing kiddos and teachers out there that I have loved getting to meet and spend time with! For those that pray, please lift me up as I close out this chapter and begin a new one! It's an exciting time for sure!!