In A Slump

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me." Psalm 62:5-7

I realized today that I'm in a slump...a 'haven't been to church in a month' slump. I feel like I should be attending Church Missers Anonymous meetings.

"Hi, my name is Angie and I haven't been to church in over a month."

"Hi, Angie" (Applause)

Can you picture the scene with me? Pretty pathetic. The sad part of it all is I can't even really identify what is keeping me from going to church. There was the Sunday I had school activities going on, but I could have gone in between my students' performance. Then there were a couple Sundays when the friend of mine who attends the church I'm trying was out of town and I used the old "I don't want to go alone" excuse, which was completely lame. Then there was this morning when I had every intention of going to church. I was showered, completely dressed and ready to go, and somewhere between picking up my Bible and walking out the door, I talked myself out of going. Why? I don't know! I like the pastor at this church, the people there have been friendly and welcoming, and the couple of Sundays I actually went, I really enjoyed the service. So what in the world is going on?

I really wish I had the answers. I still read my Bible every day and I still pray and so it's not one of those times when I feel out of sync with God. I've been through those seasons in my faith where my relationship with God seemed stagnant or distanced, but I can't say I feel like this is one of those times.

I guess if I'm honest, this slump doesn't just have to do with the issue of going to church, I can see it in other areas of my life. Is it possible I'm going through a pre mid-life crisis of some sort? I will turn 28 in two weeks and lately have been wondering what I have to show for the last 28 years. Not a whole lot if I really think about it. Sure, I've got my job as a 2nd grade teacher that I absolutely love, and I hope I'm shaping the lives of my students each day that we're together. But there is a chance I will not have that job next year and if not, I'm right back to not having any idea what to do with my life. I had thought teaching this year might help me make up my mind to go and finish my teaching degree, but it hasn't. I love it and will continue to do it as long as Trinity allows, but it's not something I want to pursue beyond that. The problem is, I don't know what I want to pursue...what I want to do with my life.

So that's where I'm at - in a slump and not sure what's to come next. But the one thing I am confident of is that my hope is in the Lord. He alone knows the future and I wait quietly before Him as He reveals His plan to me.