New Group on Facebook
Today was quite a day. It took me awhile to convince myself to get out of bed and, knowing it was going to be one of those days, I stopped to get a coffee on my way to work. By mid-morning, I was fighting back tears and even had a mini break down in the teacher's lounge as I was looking through some cupboards for super glue. I pulled myself together and went back to class and made it until lunch time, so thankful for a lunch volunteer so I could have some time alone. I went to the classroom of a good friend, who has seen me at my worst - a bawling, snotty, hiccuping mess - and sat down in her little kindergarten sized chairs and just let the tears flow.
Why the tears? Despite a couple of 'down' days over the weekend, this week really was a good one and all was well. Then I had a dream last night that opened recent wounds I've been dealing with and I woke up this morning so incredibly sad. A friend once told me that when Satan can't get to you during the day, he will try in your dreams and this time, he succeeded. In recent weeks, I have been dealing with some painful family issues (http://readangiesthoughts.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-hurts-most.html) and last night's dream brought them right back to the surface. The dream was about some family friends that I haven't seen in years, part of that group of people that seemed to 'cut the ties' after I told about the abuse. The dream just, again, opened my eyes to the enormous loss that I have endured because of something that wasn't my fault. I know it's childish to put things in the terms of not 'being fair' but that's how I felt today - that it's NOT fair I've lost so much because of someone else's actions.
I texted a friend of mine who is also an abuse survivor and asked her if she ever gets sad when she thinks of all the things she has lost because of her abuse. Her answer was 'No'. So, not only was I feeling incredibly sad but add to that feeling extremely alone. The friend I talked to at school was, as always, a great listener and just let me cry and get all my thoughts about, but she will also be the first to tell you that when it comes to my abusive past and all the issues that come from it, it's hard for her to relate.
As my friend and I sat and talked, an idea began to take shape in my mind. I am creating a group on Facebook called Beauty From Ashes. I want it to be a place where abuse survivors can come and talk about issues they are struggling with and get advice/insight from others who have been in their shoes. I had a similar group on Yahoo years ago that was successful and one in more recent years that was not, but I'm hoping FB will be a better avenue since everyone seems to be on it these days.
So, in short - if you know of someone who would be interested in joining this group, please have them look it up on FB. I will definitely keep it monitored in order to make everyone feel safe. If you don't know anyone who would want to join, then I give you a simple 'thanks' for listening as I've shared my heart this evening!
Why the tears? Despite a couple of 'down' days over the weekend, this week really was a good one and all was well. Then I had a dream last night that opened recent wounds I've been dealing with and I woke up this morning so incredibly sad. A friend once told me that when Satan can't get to you during the day, he will try in your dreams and this time, he succeeded. In recent weeks, I have been dealing with some painful family issues (http://readangiesthoughts.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-hurts-most.html) and last night's dream brought them right back to the surface. The dream was about some family friends that I haven't seen in years, part of that group of people that seemed to 'cut the ties' after I told about the abuse. The dream just, again, opened my eyes to the enormous loss that I have endured because of something that wasn't my fault. I know it's childish to put things in the terms of not 'being fair' but that's how I felt today - that it's NOT fair I've lost so much because of someone else's actions.
I texted a friend of mine who is also an abuse survivor and asked her if she ever gets sad when she thinks of all the things she has lost because of her abuse. Her answer was 'No'. So, not only was I feeling incredibly sad but add to that feeling extremely alone. The friend I talked to at school was, as always, a great listener and just let me cry and get all my thoughts about, but she will also be the first to tell you that when it comes to my abusive past and all the issues that come from it, it's hard for her to relate.
As my friend and I sat and talked, an idea began to take shape in my mind. I am creating a group on Facebook called Beauty From Ashes. I want it to be a place where abuse survivors can come and talk about issues they are struggling with and get advice/insight from others who have been in their shoes. I had a similar group on Yahoo years ago that was successful and one in more recent years that was not, but I'm hoping FB will be a better avenue since everyone seems to be on it these days.
So, in short - if you know of someone who would be interested in joining this group, please have them look it up on FB. I will definitely keep it monitored in order to make everyone feel safe. If you don't know anyone who would want to join, then I give you a simple 'thanks' for listening as I've shared my heart this evening!
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