I Choose to Believe

I wish I could put a happy twist into this post or try to be more upbeat and positive but the truth is, I'm sad. Really sad. My job at Trinity ends in about a month and that realization is, at times, almost more than I can bear. I hear other teachers counting down the days and up until a couple weeks ago, I was one of those same teachers, looking forward to the end of the school year. Now I find myself trying to hang on to each day, each moment with my 8 students, even with the one that is especially testing my patience, tempting me to just wring his little neck.

I did really well the first few days of this week. I got to tell my students on Monday that I won't be back next year and the secret I had been carrying on my shoulders for the past several days was gone. However, a new load has planted itself on my shoulders and man, it is so heavy some days. The sadness and reality of my situation just seems to sit there and there is such weight and 'fullness' to it that I can hardly breathe sometimes. I cry a few tears now and then but it's a pain that goes too deep for tears. This isn't to say I don't still have a peace about this whole thing because I really do. The reality is just hitting me smack in the face and I'm having a hard time finding the strength to turn the other cheek.

So I'm asking for prayers from you, my readers. I know God has better things in store and He is in control. I'm trying SO hard each day to choose to believe but at times it's a struggle. Please pray I would stand strong as these changes bombard me and that I would handle every one of them with grace and an attitude that would please God.