Friendships
I've learned a lot about friendships recently and whether anyone will read it or not, I thought I would share some of what I've learned...
* Friendships are work. Hard work at times. Friendships can bring so much joy and yet incredible pain and heartache. You have to decide that through it all, you're going to stick with that person and do whatever it takes to make things work.
* Some friendships are for a season. For reasons only He knows, God brings certain friends into our lives at just the time we need them. When that season has passed, the friendship begins to fade. When I was walking through the journey of healing from the abuse in my childhood, God brought me many good friends that encouraged me, listened to me, cried with me, and celebrated with me. As I began to move past that time in my life, those friendships fizzled out, some until they ceased to exist at all. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
* With some friends, I've learned you almost have to hold back, or censor what it is you share with them. There are certain friends of mine, for example, that I can't talk about my depression diagnosis with. They just don't understand and instead of listening to their (not intentional) hurtful comments, I've learned to just not discuss those things with them. I've learned to be okay with that too because on the flip side, God has given me wonderful friends that can understand issues, like my depression, with a grace and love that is beyond words.
* Some friendships are long-distance you've got to find a way to make that work. My two best friends live thousands of miles away - one in Texas, one in Florida - and I've learned you have to be okay with the weeks without conversation and be grateful for the few moments we are able to catch up. I know those friendships are genuine, though, because when I see those girls after months or even years apart, we are able to pick up like we just saw each other yesterday.
* In some friendships, you will end up putting in more effort than the other person and for me, this has been the hardest, and most painful, lesson to learn. Again, you have to decide the friendship is worth it and do whatever it takes to make things work. If it means you have to put in 99% of the effort, you've got to learn to do so without anger or bitterness. I'm in that situation now with a wonderful friend. I'm learning (slowly, but surely) that I need to accept this friend for who she is and what she brings to the table if I want to make the friendship work.
* Friends are truly a gift from God. A wonderful, amazing gift. I have friends I have laughed with until I literally peed my pants, friends I have cried with, friends who let me know when I've overstepped my bounds, friends who will pray for me in the wee early morning hours when I've got a need, friends who sit quietly while I become a bawling, slobbering, blubbering fool, friends who line me out when I need it, and friends who love me unconditionally.
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” ~ C.S. Lewis
* Friendships are work. Hard work at times. Friendships can bring so much joy and yet incredible pain and heartache. You have to decide that through it all, you're going to stick with that person and do whatever it takes to make things work.
* Some friendships are for a season. For reasons only He knows, God brings certain friends into our lives at just the time we need them. When that season has passed, the friendship begins to fade. When I was walking through the journey of healing from the abuse in my childhood, God brought me many good friends that encouraged me, listened to me, cried with me, and celebrated with me. As I began to move past that time in my life, those friendships fizzled out, some until they ceased to exist at all. And you know what? I'm okay with that.
* With some friends, I've learned you almost have to hold back, or censor what it is you share with them. There are certain friends of mine, for example, that I can't talk about my depression diagnosis with. They just don't understand and instead of listening to their (not intentional) hurtful comments, I've learned to just not discuss those things with them. I've learned to be okay with that too because on the flip side, God has given me wonderful friends that can understand issues, like my depression, with a grace and love that is beyond words.
* Some friendships are long-distance you've got to find a way to make that work. My two best friends live thousands of miles away - one in Texas, one in Florida - and I've learned you have to be okay with the weeks without conversation and be grateful for the few moments we are able to catch up. I know those friendships are genuine, though, because when I see those girls after months or even years apart, we are able to pick up like we just saw each other yesterday.
* In some friendships, you will end up putting in more effort than the other person and for me, this has been the hardest, and most painful, lesson to learn. Again, you have to decide the friendship is worth it and do whatever it takes to make things work. If it means you have to put in 99% of the effort, you've got to learn to do so without anger or bitterness. I'm in that situation now with a wonderful friend. I'm learning (slowly, but surely) that I need to accept this friend for who she is and what she brings to the table if I want to make the friendship work.
* Friends are truly a gift from God. A wonderful, amazing gift. I have friends I have laughed with until I literally peed my pants, friends I have cried with, friends who let me know when I've overstepped my bounds, friends who will pray for me in the wee early morning hours when I've got a need, friends who sit quietly while I become a bawling, slobbering, blubbering fool, friends who line me out when I need it, and friends who love me unconditionally.
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” ~ C.S. Lewis
Comments
Post a Comment