Finding the Joy in Pain
A year ago, I believed I had found my dream job. I was going to be a case manager for adults with developmental disabilities and I was over the moon excited! For various reasons that you can read about here, I left that job in November. Since then, my life has taken a few turns I never saw coming but were totally arranged by God.
A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend who is moving away. We were talking about how hard it is to trust God has something better when it seems you're leaving something pretty close to perfect behind. This was a struggle I can definitely relate to.
Around this time last year, I began getting to know a lady from my church better and we became fast friends. Pretty soon I was going over to her house almost daily as we shared our hearts and many laughs. I had longed for a close friendship like this for years and was excited God seemed to finally answer those prayers. I have a lot of friends but not many I truly feel comfortable sharing my whole self with. This gal made that so easy. On a dreary Friday afternoon in October, she cried as she told me her husband had accepted a job in Florida. I was heartbroken at this news. I couldn't understand what in the world God was doing.
A few quick weeks later, she was gone and weeks after that, when the reality of her being gone really started to sink in, I found myself questioning God a lot. Even today, there are times I find myself tearfully asking Him, "Why? Why did you take her away?" I miss her so very much. But, in very next instant, I am reminded of one blessing that has come from her leaving...my little E. She was watching a baby from our church two days a week and when she moved, I began watching this little one five days a week and I can't even begin to explain how much I love her little self. She has captured my heart in ways I never imagined and I love my time with her each day. I have watched her learn to crawl and then walk, talk and laugh, and grow like a week before my very eyes. Indeed, watching E is one blessing that has come from my friend moving away.
But, there's even more. God continues to provide in ways that seemingly come from out of the blue, yet I know are orchestrated by His very hand. Watching E alone wasn't enough to pay my bills each month but I trusted that God had a plan and waited to see what that would be. I took on two short stints watching other littles from my church but they never seemed to 'fit' and I never had a sense of peace about either situation. Then one day a friend from our MOPS group at church messaged me about watching her kids. After some prodding from God, I said yes and another family became such a huge blessing in my life. Three little kids and parents who love them, and God, well have become such a huge light in my world. I was smitten with the kiddos immediately and from day one, it was apparent to me that this was the 'fit' I had been looking for. I am able to bring little E with me and financially it has been a huge answer to prayer. It's a job I look forward to each week and though I am exhausted when I leave each day, I love it so much.
Yes, there are painful times in our life that cause us to question God and wonder what in the world He is up to. But when answers come, always in His time, there is much joy to be had.
A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend who is moving away. We were talking about how hard it is to trust God has something better when it seems you're leaving something pretty close to perfect behind. This was a struggle I can definitely relate to.
Around this time last year, I began getting to know a lady from my church better and we became fast friends. Pretty soon I was going over to her house almost daily as we shared our hearts and many laughs. I had longed for a close friendship like this for years and was excited God seemed to finally answer those prayers. I have a lot of friends but not many I truly feel comfortable sharing my whole self with. This gal made that so easy. On a dreary Friday afternoon in October, she cried as she told me her husband had accepted a job in Florida. I was heartbroken at this news. I couldn't understand what in the world God was doing.
A few quick weeks later, she was gone and weeks after that, when the reality of her being gone really started to sink in, I found myself questioning God a lot. Even today, there are times I find myself tearfully asking Him, "Why? Why did you take her away?" I miss her so very much. But, in very next instant, I am reminded of one blessing that has come from her leaving...my little E. She was watching a baby from our church two days a week and when she moved, I began watching this little one five days a week and I can't even begin to explain how much I love her little self. She has captured my heart in ways I never imagined and I love my time with her each day. I have watched her learn to crawl and then walk, talk and laugh, and grow like a week before my very eyes. Indeed, watching E is one blessing that has come from my friend moving away.
But, there's even more. God continues to provide in ways that seemingly come from out of the blue, yet I know are orchestrated by His very hand. Watching E alone wasn't enough to pay my bills each month but I trusted that God had a plan and waited to see what that would be. I took on two short stints watching other littles from my church but they never seemed to 'fit' and I never had a sense of peace about either situation. Then one day a friend from our MOPS group at church messaged me about watching her kids. After some prodding from God, I said yes and another family became such a huge blessing in my life. Three little kids and parents who love them, and God, well have become such a huge light in my world. I was smitten with the kiddos immediately and from day one, it was apparent to me that this was the 'fit' I had been looking for. I am able to bring little E with me and financially it has been a huge answer to prayer. It's a job I look forward to each week and though I am exhausted when I leave each day, I love it so much.
Yes, there are painful times in our life that cause us to question God and wonder what in the world He is up to. But when answers come, always in His time, there is much joy to be had.
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