Created for Relationships
In a sermon I heard once, the pastor said that contrary to what most people think, sin was not the first problem in the Bible. The first chapter of Genesis tells us the account of creation, ending every couple of days with the phrase, "and God saw that it was good." Then we move on to chapter 2, where sin and Satan enter the picture but if you look early in the book, at verse 18, it says, "The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” There it is...the first problem in the eyes of God. It was not good for man to be alone. We were created for relationships.
I, myself, am in a number of relationships. I am a beloved daughter to the King of Kings. I am a daughter to my father. I am a sister to my brothers. I am an aunt to my nieces and nephew. I am a granddaughter to my grandma. I am a friend to countless friends. I am an Eegee to my Ryan Joe. I am a teacher to many children on Sunday mornings. I am a helper to many more children during the week. I am food provider/litter box cleaner/driver/great place to sit for my pets. Indeed, my relationships are many.
But, there is one relationship I have yet to obtain in my life and only God knows if I ever will. This relationship intrigues me...fascinates me...scares the mess out of me...intimidates me. This relationship is marriage. I am blessed beyond measure to see this relationship lived out in the lives of those couples God has surrounded me with and I am saddened by those around me that take such a sacred commitment lightly and end the relationship. Marriage is truly a gift from God.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am perfectly content and happy with being single. I really, truly am. For whatever reason, God has called me to the role of singleness at this time in my life and I will honor that. If the time comes when He sees it is good to bring me a husband, I will be open to that too but for now, I am happy with being single.
That doesn't mean there aren't times I wish I had a husband. Someone to talk to when I've had a yucky day, someone to cook dinner, someone to take care of me when I'm sick, someone to travel with and have adventures with. Most of all, though, someone who desires me...who wants me...who can't imagine living their life without me.
See, I haven't had a guy pursue me since college. None. Zilch. Nada. It would be all the more amazing, I would think, to believe God wants me to be single as I'm fending guys off with a stick. "Sorry boys, but God's got my heart at the moment!" But that's not the case and Satan uses that to torment me, often on a daily basis, with thoughts like...
"Of course no one wants to marry you, you're too fat...ugly...boring...unattractive...pathetic...damaged."
The list goes on and on. Being sexually abused as a child has left me with a lot of shame about myself, my body, who I am as a person. I still struggle with these issues more than 20 years after the abuse stopped. Satan knows this and uses it hard core. He uses it to make me believe I am destined to spend the rest of my life alone, that it would take a major fool to commit to spending the rest of their life with me.
What's the point of this blog? I'm not really sure. I just want to put it out there. To be real. To be honest. To share what goes on inside the mind of one Angie Hensley and maybe, just maybe, help someone else to know they are not alone.
I, myself, am in a number of relationships. I am a beloved daughter to the King of Kings. I am a daughter to my father. I am a sister to my brothers. I am an aunt to my nieces and nephew. I am a granddaughter to my grandma. I am a friend to countless friends. I am an Eegee to my Ryan Joe. I am a teacher to many children on Sunday mornings. I am a helper to many more children during the week. I am food provider/litter box cleaner/driver/great place to sit for my pets. Indeed, my relationships are many.
But, there is one relationship I have yet to obtain in my life and only God knows if I ever will. This relationship intrigues me...fascinates me...scares the mess out of me...intimidates me. This relationship is marriage. I am blessed beyond measure to see this relationship lived out in the lives of those couples God has surrounded me with and I am saddened by those around me that take such a sacred commitment lightly and end the relationship. Marriage is truly a gift from God.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am perfectly content and happy with being single. I really, truly am. For whatever reason, God has called me to the role of singleness at this time in my life and I will honor that. If the time comes when He sees it is good to bring me a husband, I will be open to that too but for now, I am happy with being single.
That doesn't mean there aren't times I wish I had a husband. Someone to talk to when I've had a yucky day, someone to cook dinner, someone to take care of me when I'm sick, someone to travel with and have adventures with. Most of all, though, someone who desires me...who wants me...who can't imagine living their life without me.
See, I haven't had a guy pursue me since college. None. Zilch. Nada. It would be all the more amazing, I would think, to believe God wants me to be single as I'm fending guys off with a stick. "Sorry boys, but God's got my heart at the moment!" But that's not the case and Satan uses that to torment me, often on a daily basis, with thoughts like...
"Of course no one wants to marry you, you're too fat...ugly...boring...unattractive...pathetic...damaged."
The list goes on and on. Being sexually abused as a child has left me with a lot of shame about myself, my body, who I am as a person. I still struggle with these issues more than 20 years after the abuse stopped. Satan knows this and uses it hard core. He uses it to make me believe I am destined to spend the rest of my life alone, that it would take a major fool to commit to spending the rest of their life with me.
What's the point of this blog? I'm not really sure. I just want to put it out there. To be real. To be honest. To share what goes on inside the mind of one Angie Hensley and maybe, just maybe, help someone else to know they are not alone.
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