The Fifth Commandment
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." ~ Exodus 20:12
Of the 10 commandments, this one is the hardest for me understand and live out. It's easy to honor my father since he has given up so much for me and we have such a great relationship. I struggle with honoring a mother who left when I was three because she had more important things to do. She never made me a priority in her life and was only being a mom when it was convenient for her - usually a month or so in the summer. I can't recall her ever having made a single sacrifice for me. Her life has been the epitome of selfishness and I don't know how to honor that.
I have been so blessed, however, to see this commandment lived out in the life of a friend of mine in a way that encourages me greatly and touches my heart. Last year, her dad was diagnosed with cancer and died within a few months. During those last weeks, she would take 2 weeks off of her job at a time to go and care for him and her mother, who has had Alzheimers for many years. It was very hard on her and easy to see the toll the stress and long hours had taken. Still, she didn't give up and she pressed on even after he died, continuing to take care of her mother and grieve with the rest of her family, especially her siblings.
Her mom is now in a home almost 400 miles away. She tries to make the 6 hour trip once a month to spend a few hours with her mom, who doesn't recognize her and has no recollection of the past they share. I can't even imagine the dedication and sheer strength that takes! My friend shows her mom pictures of the family and tries to connect on some level but doesn't ever get anywhere. I know it is so hard on her even though it would be so easy not to go and rationalize, "Well, she doesn't know me anyway so why even make the effort?" Still, she continues on.
She told me once that she struggles with understanding why God continues to keep her mom here and not call her home to heaven with Him where she will see her husband and one of her daughters again, and have a complete memory of her entire life. I don't understand that either and the only answer I could think to give her was that even though we don't understand and see the big picture, God does and He has His reasons for not calling her home yet.
So, here's to the fifth commandment...to those who live it well...to those who struggle with understanding how...and to our Perfect Father who loves us beyond measure as we try to navigate this fallen world of relationships with parents that are broken - either by choice or circumstances beyond our control.
Of the 10 commandments, this one is the hardest for me understand and live out. It's easy to honor my father since he has given up so much for me and we have such a great relationship. I struggle with honoring a mother who left when I was three because she had more important things to do. She never made me a priority in her life and was only being a mom when it was convenient for her - usually a month or so in the summer. I can't recall her ever having made a single sacrifice for me. Her life has been the epitome of selfishness and I don't know how to honor that.
I have been so blessed, however, to see this commandment lived out in the life of a friend of mine in a way that encourages me greatly and touches my heart. Last year, her dad was diagnosed with cancer and died within a few months. During those last weeks, she would take 2 weeks off of her job at a time to go and care for him and her mother, who has had Alzheimers for many years. It was very hard on her and easy to see the toll the stress and long hours had taken. Still, she didn't give up and she pressed on even after he died, continuing to take care of her mother and grieve with the rest of her family, especially her siblings.
Her mom is now in a home almost 400 miles away. She tries to make the 6 hour trip once a month to spend a few hours with her mom, who doesn't recognize her and has no recollection of the past they share. I can't even imagine the dedication and sheer strength that takes! My friend shows her mom pictures of the family and tries to connect on some level but doesn't ever get anywhere. I know it is so hard on her even though it would be so easy not to go and rationalize, "Well, she doesn't know me anyway so why even make the effort?" Still, she continues on.
She told me once that she struggles with understanding why God continues to keep her mom here and not call her home to heaven with Him where she will see her husband and one of her daughters again, and have a complete memory of her entire life. I don't understand that either and the only answer I could think to give her was that even though we don't understand and see the big picture, God does and He has His reasons for not calling her home yet.
So, here's to the fifth commandment...to those who live it well...to those who struggle with understanding how...and to our Perfect Father who loves us beyond measure as we try to navigate this fallen world of relationships with parents that are broken - either by choice or circumstances beyond our control.
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