My Heart!

At this time two years ago, I was without a job and waiting to see what God had in store. I had been done with my job at Trinity for a few months and after a summer and fall of looking for a job, I was frustrated with God and wondered what in the world He was doing. I remember even telling Him at one point, "If you took me away from Trinity - a job I LOVED - just so I can be a cashier at Walmart, we're going to have some problems!" In April when I knew my job at Trinity was coming to an end, I was confident that God had something even better in store for me. I clung to that hope in the months to come but by November, I was starting to wonder.

One afternoon I was doing some odd jobs for a pet-sitting client when she called to tell me about a job possibility. A family at her church was looking for a nanny for their 18 month old. I was excited until she mentioned that I would be working two weeks on, two weeks off as the husband worked in the oil field. Immediately I felt my hopes fall and I told her I needed a full-time job if I was going to be able to pay all my bills. At the same time she had told the wife of this couple about me, that I was great with her dogs. The wife immediately dismissed the idea as she was looking for a CHILD watcher, not a DOG watcher. God was not finished, though, and he used a quiet man from my church to get me the job. This man worked with the lady needing a nanny and he put in some good words for me that sealed the deal.

The first time I met Ryan, I was absolutely smitten. I had never seen such a cute and chubby little boy! He was still crawling most of the time but walked when he was really feeling ambitious. He was a super messy eater but would eat anything. He napped twice a day and most of the time, I had NO idea what he was saying. We quickly established some sign language for basic words and took it from there. It didn't take long until this boy completely had my heart wrapped around his pudgy little finger!

Two years later, he is 3 1/2 and a total joy! He is constantly on the go and ALWAYS talking. He asks all kinds of questions, laughs easily, and is a happy little guy. He is very strong willed with a temper that at times, comes out of nowhere. He is quick to forgive and seek forgiveness and loves unconditionally. He plays with great enthusiasm and is very serious about his sleep. He loves with all he has and has never met a stranger. I tell his mom all the time, "I just love him!" because there aren't words to express how deeply I love this boy.

Not only have I come to adore him, but over the past two years his mom has become one of my best friends. She is an amazing mom and provider for her family with a passion for raising her son to be a man after God's own heart. We've been told we act like sisters and we have so much in common, she could easily be my sister from another mister. She has always kept me in the loop when it comes to all things Ryan and we often talk on the phone in the evenings after Ryan has gone to bed about the events of that day or just life in general. She is great encourager in my life and we laugh a lot together. She is an amazing added blessing I never would have expected.

I've learned so much from this little boy - everything from patience to the power of God's love. I've never wanted to have children of my own but God has allowed me to experience some of those 'parent' moments with Ryan. On the rare occasion I have more than one or two days off (that two week on, two week of schedule has become more full-time) I miss him. I physically miss being near him and rarely do I have a day off where I don't get to hear his sweet voice on the phone. He is such a huge blessing in my life and I love him more that I ever thought I could love a little boy the way I love him. I have no idea what the next 2 years hold but one thing I do know for sure - Ryan and his parents will a part of my family forever.